Thursday, 27 August 2015

"Priceless" Friendship


Assalamu'alaikum warrahmatullah.

Dear bloggie,

I don't know if it's necessary to talk about someone whom I hate in here.
But well since there are no any other places for me to let out my feelings, so yeah.
I'm still gonna write it in here.
Whoever cares?

This guy.
He really gets into my nerves.
I think I have forgotten him long ago but I don't know, lately I've been thinking about him.
Not thinking as in I'm in love with him. Again. Pfft.
But I'm thinking, how on earth did I fall for this guy before?
I mean, how stupid I was back then? Unbelievable.

That night when I decided to end everything between me and him,
I was like "You figured you'd toy with me until someone better came along and I wouldn't mind because I was lucky a rich boy wanted me."
You know what is the stupidest act you could ever do in your life?
You fall for a guy you know you're not right for.
And even stupider, when you fall anyway because you think he might turn out to be different.

But I'm lucky because I know I'm not good enough for him and that he can never be happy being with me.
And I'm luckier because I realized he couldn't be any different.
It's a good thing I realized it sooner.
And I'm lucky I stopped loving him since then.

During last eid, I called him (as a friend). Well, nothing more or less, just to stop by to his house because my friends somehow wanted to go to his house and they was like, "Can you call him?"
I hesitated because I know he wouldn't want me to go. Well why would he pick up my call and say yes?
But I called him anyway because I thought why would we keep bringing the old story to the present time and being carried away by our anger. Right?
Well that was definitely what I think.

But! It's different for him.
He picked up my call because I used my other phone number to call him.
He coldly told me he wasn't home when I know he was.
I knew it when he lied.

But nevermind.
He's got one girl best friend who are close to me when I was his girlfriend.
But now, she's gone too.
I guess that's what friendship meant to them.
Was I that cheap?

I was so stupid.

Watch me, all my dreams will come true.
And it will involves none of you.

How could I be fooled like this?
They, whom I trusted has stomped all over me.
Coldly turned their back against me.
Now there's nothing that could be done.
Look at me now, answer me.
Why you're acting this way to me?
Now nobody can stop me.
I don't want to be played by you anymore.
I'm slowly starting to clench my fist, to begin my revenge.
You'll get the same amount of pain that I received.
Making fun of my calls out to you.
I'll chew you to pieces and spit you back out.

I can't believe I have so many revenges.
I've been keeping everything for too long, and this is how it turn out to be.
I pity myself though.
It's tiring.



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