Wednesday, 30 December 2015

Someone Who Loves





Bismillahirrahmanirrahim.

Assalamu'alaikum warrahmatullah.

Dear bloggie,

It's hard to satisfy people.

I learned that there are various types of people in this world.
There are people who accepts me at the front and talk poop about me behind my back.
There are people who seems to hate me so much when they see me, and talk poop about me behind my back.
There are people who doesn't even know me, and judge me for how they see me from the outside.
There are people who used to be my everything, talk poop about me in just a second when I turned my back on her, because of her own mistakes.
There are people who act like they're so good with me, and end up criticizing me.
There are people who always find mistakes in everything I do, without even realizing they make a worser mistake than me.
There are people who sometimes likes me, and sometimes don't. Depending on the situation.
There are people who hates the way I dressed, the way I treat other people well, the way I smile, the way I walk, the way I handle myself, the way I study, the way I scored in every tests, the way I drive my car, the way I shop, the way I do everything.
There are people who see my appearance, and judges me bad.
There are people who doesn't even know me, and say that I acted to be pious.
There are people who find me, only when they need something from me. After that, they'll treat me like rubbish.
There are people who acted nice just to get something from me. Once they get it, their kindness will be gone.
There are people who make a fake smile when they see me, but in their heart they cursed over and over again.
There are people who don't like they way I socialize, the way I make status, my profile picture, my moments. Everything never seems right.
There are people who won't miss me, even when I'm not around.

None of them truly wants to approach me sincerely, knows me better because they judge everything.
None of them truly loves me, and cried when I'm no longer with them.
None of them truly tries to understand the way I live my life. The way I bring myself to the public.

They acted so much.
They lied so much.
They hurt me so much.
They annoyed me so much.
Because they treat me that way, I changed.
Because they acted so much, I acted better.
I fake a smile, better than they did.
Because they lied so much, I lied better.
I lied to myself better, saying "It's okay, hanis." when everything is clearly falling apart.
Because they hurt me so much, I hurt myself better.
I hurt myself by giving them more love, and receive more hatred everyday.
Because they annoyed me so much, I annoyed myself better.
I annoyed myself by saying that "They're all good to me.", when HELL I know, they're not even close to it.

I hang on because I know these will be over, soon.
I don't wanna argue over littlest and stupidest things anymore.
I don't wanna start a war, even If i wanted to, SO BAD.
I wanna clear everything and start over.
But I realize, it is getting to the end, so let's just go on and finish the story.

Of all people who says they love me, I only find one true LOVE here.
Love of a sister.

Although I annoyed her so bad.
I kicked her butt.
I punched her.
I pulled her hair.
I yelled at her.
I sulked.
I pissed her off.
I made her cry.
I hurt her.
I teased her.
I disturbed her.
I kissed her.
I hugged her.
I cried with her.
I told her everything.
I gave my all to her.

She still, stay with me.
She said, we fight over so many things because we're KYOUDAI(Siblings) !

I really want her to know, that she's the first person I want to live together with, forever and after. I want to live with her until my old time. I want to see her build her own family and be with her until I'm dead. I want to meet her in Jannah, and live together again with her.

I love her, so much that I couldn't afford to live without her.

I love you my dear baby sister, MeiMei.
You're the first person in this world who is not fake, who shares the same interest with me,
who is being genius together with me (LOL), who loves jokes and laugh like hell together.
Who treats me like I'm your own family.
I'm touched by your love.

I always said this.
I don't mind not having anyone else around me anymore.
As long as I got my parents, my sisters, my nephew and niece.
And YOU.

It doesn't matter if everyone else hates me. Even if the whole world stand against me, you still promised to stay with me.

I'd love you, until my last breath.

3 comments:

  1. Hahax....... Woman2..... Always argue about something that not even make sense.... There are still a lot of people love and appreciate yourself........ Sometimes we think to much about people perception towards us. But be grateful because this situation makes you think that you are still HUMAN not an ANGEL.
    -clown-

    ReplyDelete
  2. Ortt ortt, I love you the most akak! Deaite yokatta! Youre the answer to my prayer nee :3

    ReplyDelete
  3. reality babe..whole lot different than our dreams. we can never satisfy others. just be yourself. you're perfect just the way you are.......

    ReplyDelete

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